This is the second article in a series discussing how the game’s medium is being utilized to discuss and teach on health issues. If you are interested in reading about how the indie hit Hyper Light Drifter discusses heart disease, please click here.

Celeste is an indie puzzle platforming video game that released in January 2018. It was created primarily by 6 people, with additional help from numerous others. The story involves a woman named Madeline, who has ventured out to the mountain of Celeste in order to get away from her ordinary life. Her goal is to simply reach the peak of the mountain, and in order to do that you'll be challenged by various obstacles in the game that change with each chapter. Yes, this is going to be another article online talking about how amazing Celeste is and spoilers will follow. However this is also going to be a post about me. 

You see, 2018 was rough for me mentally. And I don't know if I can fully explain why that is. I had a relative die, as well as someone I was friends with in high school die. Both were far too young. I also watched as my closest friend group, once bonded by super glue, fall apart as if it had only be held by scotch tape. It's all left me with a feeling of confusion and loss. 

Even before that though I wasn't really that well. I'd have some days where I would go into work and when someone asked, "How's it going," I'd reply, "I'm doing good." There were many, many more days though where I'd be asked that, and I'd hesitate before I answered, "I'm okay." But I know at those times I wasn't. At those times I just felt like I was in this state of hopelessness where I didn't know if I'd ever be truly okay. I'd have two sides fighting over who had full control of my mental state for the day - the negative and the positive. Usually, the positive side lost. Sometimes I'd be okay in the morning, but end the day feeling unsure of how I'd get up the next day. And often times I wouldn't know why I would feel that way, it would just sort of happen and plague my mind like an infection. It was like there was no escape from it, like I could never fully be in control. 

I could go on and on, but I won't bother making this anymore wordy than it already is. Honestly I don't even know how I even made it this far explaining my mental state. I'm terrible at opening up to others, even to the closest people in my life. But it's important that you know where I've been this past year in order to understand why I believe Celeste matters so much to the games medium. 

When I first started playing Celeste, I had very limited knowledge on the game. I knew it was a 2D Platformer, gaming outlets had highly praised it, and when the developers won an award at the VGAs they spoke on mental health. That last piece is what especially intrigued me, as I had just been coming off of playing Hellblade (another excellent game I recommend if you haven't already played it). So once the game hit Xbox's GWG at the start of the month, I immediately installed it and started playing. 

Celeste is a simple premise on its surface as I stated earlier. Your move set is fairly limited also, very much reminiscent of Super Mario World or any other 16-bit platformer you may think of. As Madeline, you jump, dash, and grab onto various surfaces in order to make your way from one end to the other. However, each chapter creates a unique twist to the world design that has you utilize these abilities in different ways.

For instance, Chapter 4 incorporates the wind to manipulate your speed in it. It makes you have to reconsider going through certain levels because now the timing of your jumps and dashes will either be longer or shorter.

Meanwhile, Chapter 3 contains these moving blobs that plaque almost every inch of the hotel you're in, which forces you to find clever ways to time your movement in order to make your way past them. 

The gameplay is so tight that I never once had this feeling of unfairness as I died. And I died a lot. Celeste's design never once feels like it's cheating you, and you're never ill equipped for any challenge the game throws at you. In a way that reminds me of how Breath of the Wild's shrines were designed, but it fits even better for a game like Celeste. It also helps that the game is very warm in terms of its aesthetics and music. The game even throws out a couple "Tips & Tricks" screens that are just very nice positive reinforcement messages to prevent you from being too discouraged. 

Eventually my hour long session turned into several hours, but I was still a little confused. Why had the developers mentioned mental health in their awards speech? For the first few chapters of Celeste, the metaphor for overcoming large obstacles seemed all but apparent, but what about mental health? 

Then I started Chapter 6. 

Chapter 6 starts out with Madeline and Theo resting after their incident on the gondola. They start talking, and eventually Madeline opens up and starts to talk about her mental state. I took a clip of the dialogue sequence, and here you can tell where I stop and realize that, "oh shit, this is sounding too familiar." 

My jaw was open the entire time after that. I just felt so… so not alone. I felt like I had become Madeline, and Theo was talking directly to me. It literally re-contextualized every aspect of the game for me. 

Celeste isn't just a platformer. It's a game that demonstrates to people what it's like to live with depression and doesn't just tell them. It also shows people who have depression or are in this mental state how to handle being this way.

Celeste is a challenging game. My death count ranges in the thousands after having finished the main story. However, this is also meant to show how depression can make even single stages in life feel grueling and difficult. To me, each level is like a day in my life. Some days I'll be able to get through it with ease, but others are tough as hell. Sometimes I do just give up and let the negative part of me take over for the day, hoping that the next one will be better. 

However Celeste also shows through the excellent use of its checkpoint system and the overall design and theme of the game that no matter how many times you may die, you're going to be okay. Eventually, you're going to get past that spiky cliff, or that windy valley. Eventually you're going to succeed,
and it's going to feel awesome. And even when you do fall to your lowest point (as displayed in Chapter 6) there's always opportunity to climb out of the pit you find yourself in. Celeste teaches you to accept the stuff about you that you don't like, as shown through Madeline's Other Half. Only with both halves was Madeline able to achieve everything she was capable of and reach Celeste's peak. And while I do understand why some players are going to appreciate there being an assist mode, I highly do recommend utilizing it as little as possible. A lot of the driving message in the game involves overcoming great odds (I mean, why else would they have a death counter?), and I feel that it does sort of besmirch what the ultimate goal of that message the game was trying to make the player feel. 

Not only does the game show players ways to deal with depression and anxiety, it also shows others how to properly be there for those individuals when they need it most. Theo is calm when he discusses Madeline's depression with her. He never belittles her, cracks offbeat jokes, or waves her feelings off as nonsensical. He is present in the conversation, and he is curious. Theo wants to understand and learn. Most importantly, he actually listens and tries to be supportive. It's hard to talk about these things, and that is why someone in such a mental state needs someone like Theo. We need people who won't try and force things out of us kicking and screaming because that solves nothing and often times makes it worse. 

I want to go on the record and say that I have never gone to a doctor and been medically diagnosed with depression. I don't want to misrepresent what someone who has clinical depression might feel like, but even still I feel like I can relate to Madeline's struggle on a very personal level which is why I felt such a strong passion to write this. If you have been clinically diagnosed and feel that my comments are off-base, feel free to point that out. Also, if you do feel this way and you feel like you are on the end of your rope, please remember that there's still more to live for. If you've always wanted to express your feelings to someone but have never felt comfortable to, I strongly encourage you to find someone to speak to. Even just letting out my own personal battles right here has helped a little, and sometimes a little can go a long way. 

Celeste has taught me a lot about myself, and I hope that if you've been in the same boat as me and have yet to play it that you do so as soon as possible. It can be disputed just how great or fun of a game Celeste is, but what I will argue is that it's the most important game to release in the past several years (and I don't say that lightly after playing Hellblade, a game that is able to be engaging and fun while teaching the player about psychosis). Celeste found a way to tie its message throughout its design in a way that is simply incredible. It's able talk to the player without being preachy, and it can teach the player about themselves through its design. It goes to show just how far gaming as a whole has come thus far, and I think this is just an early sign of what's possible utilizing the medium to its full potential. 

So thank you Matt Thorson, Noel Berry, Amora Bettany, Pedro Medeiros, Lena Raine, Kevin Regamey, and the rest of the team for making this game so special. You've certainly helped me more than you can imagine, and I'm sure you've helped countless others also. If you've been sleeping on Celeste, definitely take the time to play it.